Naima, a twenty four year old mother of two, is my neighbor in my hometown in Purnia, Bihar. Naima was Naina until five years ago when she ran away with Nasim the son of a neighborhood fruit vendor. They happen to live with their sons in sleepy vicinity in Maulvitola, primarily a Muslim dominated area encircled by other caste lined community ghettoes.
I vaguely remember, my father sharing in this story of the daughter of a rich ‘Marwari Seth’ of Gulabbagh in Purnia, running away with her Muslim boyfriend one fine night a few years back. This had led to communal tensions in the area otherwise known for its peaceful cohabitation and interdependence between communities.
He was a fruit vendor of the area and she the girl next door.
Naima and Nasim had met at eighteen. She on her way to the school and he while selling fruits for his father. She was in the final year at school and he a drop-out from Madarsa Husannia in Kadru in Ranchi, Jharkhand.
First Nasim’s story:
Nasim’s mother had a real midnight dream. She recalled one night a ‘Buzurg (Holy man) appeared in her dreams and advised her to give away one of the four sons for ‘Deeni Taalim (Religious study). “That way all her woes will be taken care off by Allah”, he had advised. Fighting poverty and illness and no stable source of income from her elder sons she chose the then six year old Nasim who fetch her happiness.
Nasim was sent to Madarsa Hussania in Ranchi to tread ‘Allah’s’ path so that his family recovers the business losses and his mother her ‘good days’. Two days later he ran away from the Madarsa hostel after being brutally beaten up by the head Maulana for not mugging up his lessons. He just ran and ran far to spend the whole night on the streets until the next day when his local guardians could trace him and send him back home.
But this did not deter his mother. She was adamant. She knew he was to be ‘sacrificed’ for the good of the family. He had to study and study ‘Deen’ (religion). He was sent back to Madrasa Arabia Islamia Juhapur in Ahmedabad, far away from home so that he cannot return. But just when he was picking up studies he decided to leave the Madarsa. This time he left hostel forever to work in Mumbai hotels. He had fought with his classmates for his anti-Islamic love for life, rugged jeans and Hindi films. He never went back to school and his mother’s woes never ended after that.
Naima who was Naina
Naina was the daughter of a rich businessman in Purnia. Her father was not simply oversized but wore outfits with oversized pockets so that he can fill it up with bundles of money he made everyday at the wholesale business hub. She went to a local school in Purnia and saw very little of her father. Her mother was a kitchen woman who got into the kitchen before Naina woke up in the morning and came out only when she was fast asleep.
Naina loved Hindi films and aspired to look like Hindi film heroines. So she ate less, wore bright clothes and sported deeply outlined eyelids but kept all her dreams hidden deep in her chest.
Nasim and Naina
Naina describes, “We met, first our eyes, then our hearts and finally our souls”. Before anyone knew they had left home for each other’s company far away to Guwahati via Katihar, Kolkata, Bhubaneshwar after wandering around for weeks in fear and the newly found freedom.
“At that point, I could have jumped the train, had he wanted me to do so. I just loved him”, admits the love smitten twenty four years old, married for five years and mother of two now. “He loves me too very dearly even today”, “when I had no one he accepted me”, she shyly admits.
It’s been five years and Naina is Naima now, living with her fruit seller husband.
“We just ran away from everyone we knew. No one would have given us a chance”, Nasim adds.
“I had called up from Kolkata, to tell my parents that I was fine. They did not want me back’. They hated me and wanted me dead. I had nowhere to go”, says Naima.
“Had we returned they would have killed us. So was everyone I spoke to were threatening. Everyone I met had suggestions that we retreat. Our relationship will never be acceptable. It is no joke, we at that point were even considering dying together”.
The Conversion and Explanation: Naima’s story
“I read the first Kalma (The Holy verse from Quran) that he said out loud and I repeated. He had written it in Hindi. La ilaha illal La hoo Mohammadur Rasool Ullahe. This is in Arabic. It means there is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger. I did not know that made me a Muslim. The young Maulvi (Qazi) of a local mosque in Guwahati declared us man and wife. He did not even know us but he still agreed”.
“That was the easiest thing to do then when everyone is running after your life”. Had I not married him I could not have stayed with him. Legally! Also he was not big enough to marry me in the court”, Naima explains.
“My father had called the police. They wanted to get us arrested. His father and brother were picked up on charges of kidnapping me. They spent three months in jail.”
“I tried hard to mediate. But no one would listen. My parents thought I was a kid, but they were arranging my marriage to someone else. They called me names. The whole community, neighbors were ready to testify against us. He would have ended in jail forever. Can you guess if I had returned then what would have happened? This is the fate of a girl’, she adds philosophically.
‘My father does not talk to me even today but my mother has adjusted. She would call sometime and I meet her in the market place secretively. She is concerned and now also likes my husband as well. But she still does not want me to come home for fear of being ostracized by the community”, Naima says. “That’s because I had gone against their wishes and had brought them shame”.
Naima had to testify in the court against her parents declaring herself a Muslim who wanted to live with her husband. It was only then that her in laws were granted bail by the district court.
“I am the girl who shamed the community”. “But I want to know why only girls are made to choose between people they love”. “Thank God I have sons”.
“I do not have home of my own. I share his family home. They have given me shelter and are family now. It is either father’s home or husband’s girls have to adjust accordingly”.
“I would not get any help from my father. Being a woman I do not have any right to my father’s wealth, property or name”.
“Gradually, I have learnt to cook non vegetarian food but am still a strict vegetarian. My sons know Hanuman Chalisa by heart. You know, woman happen to be more religious and children learn from their mother. I sing to them every night. That’s by habit”.
“Yes, this is also true that my name has changed but I have not. What is in name?” “Had I not changed home, family, relatives, friends I would not have had to change my name either”, “Had my parents, society, community, accepted me as I was. Alas!”
How true! What is in name?
“Naima or Naina would have anyways added, deleted, changed her name for her husband” she says with utmost calm.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Sunday, September 7, 2014
The Jihad (Struggle) for Love!
With the controversy surrounding mixed religion marriages in India these days and terming them as ´Love Jihad´ or part of a greater conspiracy, it seems it is time for me to stand up and share my story of ´my JIHAD FOR LOVE´.
After a long challenging battle for social acceptability and stability for more than fifteen years I eventually come out today as just another common Indian married woman living life in my terms. The only difference here is that I am married by my choice to a man from another religion who I met, fell in love and married.
I wonder if this is the right time to recall, tell and retell my journey of the ´jihad for love´ when all that is being propagated is the word ´Love jihad´!
Indeed, today I am comfortably married to a person of my choice only because the Indian constitution permitted me to. Or else I would have had to back out, break up the relationship and look for other options of love and marriage at a convenient place and then recall my love story as just another teenage fling. I feel deeply concerned and shamed for a society and community that forbids people to marry by choice although the existing law of the land permits it magnanimously. If there were fewer takers for it, why had the law makers thought about the minuscule minority with criminal intentions?
But before this separate discussion of ´who marries how´ it is important to share my very personal story.
I met the guy when I was in my teens, fell in love in my early twenties and married a few years later.
I come from equally traditional Muslim family that teaches vehemently the concept of ´jodis (couples) made in heaven´ and ´without a Nikah´ the marriage is not ´solemnized´; Muslim girls can marry to only ´Ahle Kitaab´ i e to the ´people of the book´. So marrying a Hindu is completely non acceptable within the community leave aside ´marrying by choice´.
The Initial Concerns! ´Our Women Their Women Syndrome´
It was as it happened that my family considering I was the woman to be taken away by another family seemed to be more concerned of ´losing out´. My father who loves me the most in this world was troubled that ´I will not be allowed to live like I was´ and ´will have to follow the diktats of the family I move in´. "That is how it is. Women move to other people´s home and just not by virtue of religious conversion but by exciting societal norms live according to the rules of the family of her husband". He had tried to show me reason. "This is how it is for all women in our society because women live not according to what they learn from the family of their birth but in accordance to the family of the MAN, be it women from the same community or otherwise".
Since my father had put in all efforts to groom me up and had never differentiated between my brother and me, the discussion at that point seemed to be the issue of his heart that feared ´losing out´ a battle, a valuable ´possession´ to someone else who did not deserve it. It wasn’t about two equal adults wanting to start a family but it was about who would gain.
My mother a pious lady regular with her five time namaaz had other concerns. "Look when a woman gets married she has to adapt to her new home, new identity. What will you start doing, change your name and start worshiping idols".
Strange times, strange issues!
Well, here I was talking about marriage and here came issues of religion, rituals, belief, future, family name and lineage.
I knew the guy through close friends. We met, I liked him, he professed, I accepted, we shared, he proposed, I desired and we decided to get married.
"Which religion your children will follow", my childhood friends were worried .
"What will happen when you die?"
"How can you follow both customs?
It is easier said than done".
"Are you going to run away?" "Your parents will never agree; "Think about your old parents!" "Your family name, your brothers, your sisters", "they do not deserve this"; "Don´t bring them shame!"
"What, how, where…..why….Can´t you, Don´t you; It isn´t fair; try and understand; how will you?" "How can you. No don´t !
Never… the lineage, the community; Don´t lose… your honor; No No…No! "You cannot be so selfish…. oh please!
"What if you are dumped? Don´t come back".
It was not easy! It was the battle. The Jihad (holy war) for LOVE!
I said "I will… because I want to, this is what I want". ´Why shouldn´t I"? Oh Allah! Save me! I am just marrying, I want him, I want just him, I want to settle down, as all others, all my friends; God! Please help me… Please, no one else, but him, I love him, can´t live without him! Is that seriously a crime I will be committing?´
"You will go to hell"? "Seventy thousand feet below" to the fire!
Okay but I will… I love him. I will not back out. Let it be, I can´t marry anyone else. Let me live in peace. I will not come back. Allah! Please help.
The Man´s World!
First the generous letter from his old father. "It does not matter. Our family has been liberal and we have accommodated people of all types". The sooner you decide the better".
"Well, but he cannot be waiting in a state of uncertainty for long!"
Then the family- "We are non - interfering people. You can go to Arya Samaj Mandir and we will arrange. It just takes a few minutes for the wedding". "This is the fastest way to get married"!
A right wing ideologue friend!
"You should do stuff right away". Don´t mind, Man! These people come with the intention of converting Hindues. Just be very cautious. It does not work smoothly always.
Oh that girl! Yes, she is a Mia´s daughter. "Muslims can marry more than one but for us Hindues, Vivah is a sanskaar and the loyal wives pray to get the same husband in seven life times".
His loyal friends!
"You are a very brave girl". We haven´t seen any from your community marry Hindu boys. Usually it is only Hindu girls getting married to Muslim boys".
"It is so nice you are so liberal. We don´t mind. This talk about religion is just useless. You must get married soon".
"Parents do not accept now but they will once when you have children". "By the way which religion will your children follow?"
"Usually it is the father´s", adds another friend. "But you will have to leave home. Your parents will never agree". "We can take you to the Arya Samaj Mandir, the process there is very easy and simple".
This way, that way, just now! "She has to agree" "Why wouldn´t she?", "If she loves you", ´Whether she will; Wont she; she should; she has to and why can’t she…… there is no option; it happens; this is how it is!
The battle goes on and on!
Paper Marriage!
We were in the hurry of getting registered as man and wife. I personally to lessen the guilt of embarrassing my parents of "losing out" their possession i e the daughter.. the ´ghar ki izzat´ who was not being ´given away´ but who decides to be ´taken over´.
Whereas he, probably in the hurry to take control of the reigns of the ongoing battle.
He had connections in right places and we managed. Three witnesses, no prior intimation to anyone concerned, and the wedding was solemnized in front of the magistrate who gave that discerning look to the girl who had shamed her community by ´losing out´ and intruding into someone else´ home.
The War Doesn´t End Here Either!
"Well it is a gain", ´welcome to the family", was the note from a dear family member of my new home. "When they have children things will settle down".
"We should not gift any valuables now. Who knows how long the relationship will last".
"Yes this is the custom. Women should be known by the names of their husbands. People add the name of their husbands because they love them", advices from a senior family member in the family.
"They are bound to have issues. It isn´t that simple" were a few other observations. "This is how we do stuff". "Now since you are a part of our family, you should learn these".
"Have you made up with your family", "Have they accepted you now".
Uhh.. The Matter of Choice!
Fifteen years and the matter did not end still. Each day I live answering, convincing, explaining, arguing, persuading that the choice made is right. To my family it is that I have not changed and that the ´others´ have not over powered me whereas to those who happen to be my new family members I keep reassuring that I am very much like them, have adapted to the new customs, culture, thought process and life.
The battle goes on and on!
And here I am standing by the choice I made, because this is what I always wanted. Here, I am also talking on behalf of the hundreds of women like me who have dared, made these choices in life, lived according to their wishes and want their families to be a part of their life. Marriage we know is a ritual that unites people… families, societies and cultures. Those who object to women´s right to choose for fear of losing the ´ghar ki i zzat´ has to start believing that women happen to be equal human beings with equal rights to choose, influence, impress and inspire.
To all those who complain that women are being ´taken over´, and influenced and cannot make the right choices, also need to understand that stopping someone else by force or by diktats forbidding them to live on their own terms is a criminal offence in the law of the land. Tying a rakhi to men of the community to save them from bad company will only make women vulnerable and captive. Give people the right to think right so that women by virtue of marriage become agents of ´integration´ and not ´division´.
After a long challenging battle for social acceptability and stability for more than fifteen years I eventually come out today as just another common Indian married woman living life in my terms. The only difference here is that I am married by my choice to a man from another religion who I met, fell in love and married.
I wonder if this is the right time to recall, tell and retell my journey of the ´jihad for love´ when all that is being propagated is the word ´Love jihad´!
Indeed, today I am comfortably married to a person of my choice only because the Indian constitution permitted me to. Or else I would have had to back out, break up the relationship and look for other options of love and marriage at a convenient place and then recall my love story as just another teenage fling. I feel deeply concerned and shamed for a society and community that forbids people to marry by choice although the existing law of the land permits it magnanimously. If there were fewer takers for it, why had the law makers thought about the minuscule minority with criminal intentions?
But before this separate discussion of ´who marries how´ it is important to share my very personal story.
I met the guy when I was in my teens, fell in love in my early twenties and married a few years later.
I come from equally traditional Muslim family that teaches vehemently the concept of ´jodis (couples) made in heaven´ and ´without a Nikah´ the marriage is not ´solemnized´; Muslim girls can marry to only ´Ahle Kitaab´ i e to the ´people of the book´. So marrying a Hindu is completely non acceptable within the community leave aside ´marrying by choice´.
The Initial Concerns! ´Our Women Their Women Syndrome´
It was as it happened that my family considering I was the woman to be taken away by another family seemed to be more concerned of ´losing out´. My father who loves me the most in this world was troubled that ´I will not be allowed to live like I was´ and ´will have to follow the diktats of the family I move in´. "That is how it is. Women move to other people´s home and just not by virtue of religious conversion but by exciting societal norms live according to the rules of the family of her husband". He had tried to show me reason. "This is how it is for all women in our society because women live not according to what they learn from the family of their birth but in accordance to the family of the MAN, be it women from the same community or otherwise".
Since my father had put in all efforts to groom me up and had never differentiated between my brother and me, the discussion at that point seemed to be the issue of his heart that feared ´losing out´ a battle, a valuable ´possession´ to someone else who did not deserve it. It wasn’t about two equal adults wanting to start a family but it was about who would gain.
My mother a pious lady regular with her five time namaaz had other concerns. "Look when a woman gets married she has to adapt to her new home, new identity. What will you start doing, change your name and start worshiping idols".
Strange times, strange issues!
Well, here I was talking about marriage and here came issues of religion, rituals, belief, future, family name and lineage.
I knew the guy through close friends. We met, I liked him, he professed, I accepted, we shared, he proposed, I desired and we decided to get married.
"Which religion your children will follow", my childhood friends were worried .
"What will happen when you die?"
"How can you follow both customs?
It is easier said than done".
"Are you going to run away?" "Your parents will never agree; "Think about your old parents!" "Your family name, your brothers, your sisters", "they do not deserve this"; "Don´t bring them shame!"
"What, how, where…..why….Can´t you, Don´t you; It isn´t fair; try and understand; how will you?" "How can you. No don´t !
Never… the lineage, the community; Don´t lose… your honor; No No…No! "You cannot be so selfish…. oh please!
"What if you are dumped? Don´t come back".
It was not easy! It was the battle. The Jihad (holy war) for LOVE!
I said "I will… because I want to, this is what I want". ´Why shouldn´t I"? Oh Allah! Save me! I am just marrying, I want him, I want just him, I want to settle down, as all others, all my friends; God! Please help me… Please, no one else, but him, I love him, can´t live without him! Is that seriously a crime I will be committing?´
"You will go to hell"? "Seventy thousand feet below" to the fire!
Okay but I will… I love him. I will not back out. Let it be, I can´t marry anyone else. Let me live in peace. I will not come back. Allah! Please help.
The Man´s World!
First the generous letter from his old father. "It does not matter. Our family has been liberal and we have accommodated people of all types". The sooner you decide the better".
"Well, but he cannot be waiting in a state of uncertainty for long!"
Then the family- "We are non - interfering people. You can go to Arya Samaj Mandir and we will arrange. It just takes a few minutes for the wedding". "This is the fastest way to get married"!
A right wing ideologue friend!
"You should do stuff right away". Don´t mind, Man! These people come with the intention of converting Hindues. Just be very cautious. It does not work smoothly always.
Oh that girl! Yes, she is a Mia´s daughter. "Muslims can marry more than one but for us Hindues, Vivah is a sanskaar and the loyal wives pray to get the same husband in seven life times".
His loyal friends!
"You are a very brave girl". We haven´t seen any from your community marry Hindu boys. Usually it is only Hindu girls getting married to Muslim boys".
"It is so nice you are so liberal. We don´t mind. This talk about religion is just useless. You must get married soon".
"Parents do not accept now but they will once when you have children". "By the way which religion will your children follow?"
"Usually it is the father´s", adds another friend. "But you will have to leave home. Your parents will never agree". "We can take you to the Arya Samaj Mandir, the process there is very easy and simple".
This way, that way, just now! "She has to agree" "Why wouldn´t she?", "If she loves you", ´Whether she will; Wont she; she should; she has to and why can’t she…… there is no option; it happens; this is how it is!
The battle goes on and on!
Paper Marriage!
We were in the hurry of getting registered as man and wife. I personally to lessen the guilt of embarrassing my parents of "losing out" their possession i e the daughter.. the ´ghar ki izzat´ who was not being ´given away´ but who decides to be ´taken over´.
Whereas he, probably in the hurry to take control of the reigns of the ongoing battle.
He had connections in right places and we managed. Three witnesses, no prior intimation to anyone concerned, and the wedding was solemnized in front of the magistrate who gave that discerning look to the girl who had shamed her community by ´losing out´ and intruding into someone else´ home.
The War Doesn´t End Here Either!
"Well it is a gain", ´welcome to the family", was the note from a dear family member of my new home. "When they have children things will settle down".
"We should not gift any valuables now. Who knows how long the relationship will last".
"Yes this is the custom. Women should be known by the names of their husbands. People add the name of their husbands because they love them", advices from a senior family member in the family.
"They are bound to have issues. It isn´t that simple" were a few other observations. "This is how we do stuff". "Now since you are a part of our family, you should learn these".
"Have you made up with your family", "Have they accepted you now".
Uhh.. The Matter of Choice!
Fifteen years and the matter did not end still. Each day I live answering, convincing, explaining, arguing, persuading that the choice made is right. To my family it is that I have not changed and that the ´others´ have not over powered me whereas to those who happen to be my new family members I keep reassuring that I am very much like them, have adapted to the new customs, culture, thought process and life.
The battle goes on and on!
And here I am standing by the choice I made, because this is what I always wanted. Here, I am also talking on behalf of the hundreds of women like me who have dared, made these choices in life, lived according to their wishes and want their families to be a part of their life. Marriage we know is a ritual that unites people… families, societies and cultures. Those who object to women´s right to choose for fear of losing the ´ghar ki i zzat´ has to start believing that women happen to be equal human beings with equal rights to choose, influence, impress and inspire.
To all those who complain that women are being ´taken over´, and influenced and cannot make the right choices, also need to understand that stopping someone else by force or by diktats forbidding them to live on their own terms is a criminal offence in the law of the land. Tying a rakhi to men of the community to save them from bad company will only make women vulnerable and captive. Give people the right to think right so that women by virtue of marriage become agents of ´integration´ and not ´division´.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
WhatsApp Jokes, Facebook Posts: How real ….how “ Made Up”!
I am amazed at the resolve of my many friends to connect to me through facebook posts, whatsApp messages at all times. They are an interesting lot and we live in interesting times. The whole world has gone global and in this age of information sharing and creating, to be in company of friends constantly provides a special feeling.
I feel blessed to have been in company of friends all the time. Yes, that means connected to them through the social Oops… new media tools. Never for a second in the last couple of years has a moment crossed my mind making me feel unwanted, unattended or not connected. What an amazing time is this! You have someone there at all times updating, informing and advising at all circumstances. If not one you could easily have a substitute in a friend. It is special…. and makes you feel certainly special!
And all the more special it is to see how your friends race to be the first in sharing with you the best possible note, post, joke, or comment that can make you feel all the more at the top of world. After all they want to make you feel so wanted, attended and connected.
In that bid to return favors I look for my role. Can I be left behind? After all they are my friends and they have so many things to tell me, share with me. What do I have? I need to contribute to the pool as well. Faster, intelligently and effectively!
Yes, these are times of competition. You run, you pace and you speed up…also to be the first with the “breaking posts”. Not just to attend or connect to your friend but also to display the swiftness, the energy and your reach in the vast, vast virtual world of knowledge..ie the infinite internet!
So what if the jokes I post upsets my friends..so what if it is at the expense of someone’s reputation, so what if it is gender insensitive, so what if it denigrates another community, so what if it is false, so what if it is exaggerated, so what if it is a total deception…I did not write this…I just copied and forwarded. After all my intentions are good! We can only have a good laugh at this and nothing more.
Now here, I am not writing this to pass judgments at the creative values and understanding of many of my dear friends who have the pleasure to share with me all and everything they come across as reading material on social media circles. Neither do I have serious objections to jokes, posts and comments by others. I am just wondering about the several content that I receive every day and understand its impact on me.
I am into various whatsApp groups of different sections of my friend list and I keep wondering how come most content gets shared so fast and with so much ease. I wonder if at all the jokes I crack, the content I share on social media circles all true. Who made these jokes and why did they? What made them create the content so specific to cater to our innate demands and how and why does this amplify to this great extent so as to reach each and every corner of the country. Amazing it might appear but the content gets all over within such a short span of time. Never has information related to health, education or anything valuing human life reached people so largely and effectively.
And what if all the information I forward as posts happen to be clichéd, false and disturbing. There has been no survey on the authenticity of the information shared nor have there been any clear motive for the intrusive gender, caste, religion and nationality based write ups.
Social Media is a revolutionary tool. We are blessed that we live in revolutionary times. As a friend replied during one of these personal discourses, ‘do not take jokes as editorials. They intend to induce a raise on the corner of the lips and not the eyebrows’….agreed I say, ‘but what if they raise my eyebrows’.
I wonder when we write stuff for public consumption as for the social media what are our considerations. A friend wrote sometime back ‘Men will be Men’ and ‘Women will be Women’…. I am just trying to unravel the idea behind the statement. Is it that the writer endorses the message hidden in these words.
So is when someone posts a joke on a particular community, I wonder how jokes have targeted particular communities for ages. Jokes as my friend says are notes that will makes us laugh but when it is posted, shared and shared a million times it becomes an idea people start believing in. Opinions are bound to be framed and generations base their ideas on those opinions.
A wrong information on facebook the other day generated such a response that a young techie was brutally murdered in Pune for no fault of his. He was in no way connected to the post or the social media circuit but paid the price for living in these interesting fast paced well connected times.
If we believe it is a joke to question the “understanding of a particular community in India”, it has remained so for ages and influenced the thought process of the nation. And at times when the social media is all the more influential these posts have far reaching influence and consequences.
Read More:
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/india-whatsapp-saves-man-trapped-10-hours-after-rock-climbing-accident-1453962
A friend sends this joke on whasapp and received 10 likes in 10 secs.
Love ur husband
when he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh
to listen your nonstop talks.....
Love him
if he looks at all the beautiful females.
he is just checking that you are still the best.
Love him
if criticise your cooking ... he is still improving
his taste.....
Love him
if snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you
Love him
if he forgets to
give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future.
Love him ... Because you don't have a choice and killing is a legal offence
I feel blessed to have been in company of friends all the time. Yes, that means connected to them through the social Oops… new media tools. Never for a second in the last couple of years has a moment crossed my mind making me feel unwanted, unattended or not connected. What an amazing time is this! You have someone there at all times updating, informing and advising at all circumstances. If not one you could easily have a substitute in a friend. It is special…. and makes you feel certainly special!
And all the more special it is to see how your friends race to be the first in sharing with you the best possible note, post, joke, or comment that can make you feel all the more at the top of world. After all they want to make you feel so wanted, attended and connected.
In that bid to return favors I look for my role. Can I be left behind? After all they are my friends and they have so many things to tell me, share with me. What do I have? I need to contribute to the pool as well. Faster, intelligently and effectively!
Yes, these are times of competition. You run, you pace and you speed up…also to be the first with the “breaking posts”. Not just to attend or connect to your friend but also to display the swiftness, the energy and your reach in the vast, vast virtual world of knowledge..ie the infinite internet!
So what if the jokes I post upsets my friends..so what if it is at the expense of someone’s reputation, so what if it is gender insensitive, so what if it denigrates another community, so what if it is false, so what if it is exaggerated, so what if it is a total deception…I did not write this…I just copied and forwarded. After all my intentions are good! We can only have a good laugh at this and nothing more.
Now here, I am not writing this to pass judgments at the creative values and understanding of many of my dear friends who have the pleasure to share with me all and everything they come across as reading material on social media circles. Neither do I have serious objections to jokes, posts and comments by others. I am just wondering about the several content that I receive every day and understand its impact on me.
I am into various whatsApp groups of different sections of my friend list and I keep wondering how come most content gets shared so fast and with so much ease. I wonder if at all the jokes I crack, the content I share on social media circles all true. Who made these jokes and why did they? What made them create the content so specific to cater to our innate demands and how and why does this amplify to this great extent so as to reach each and every corner of the country. Amazing it might appear but the content gets all over within such a short span of time. Never has information related to health, education or anything valuing human life reached people so largely and effectively.
And what if all the information I forward as posts happen to be clichéd, false and disturbing. There has been no survey on the authenticity of the information shared nor have there been any clear motive for the intrusive gender, caste, religion and nationality based write ups.
Social Media is a revolutionary tool. We are blessed that we live in revolutionary times. As a friend replied during one of these personal discourses, ‘do not take jokes as editorials. They intend to induce a raise on the corner of the lips and not the eyebrows’….agreed I say, ‘but what if they raise my eyebrows’.
I wonder when we write stuff for public consumption as for the social media what are our considerations. A friend wrote sometime back ‘Men will be Men’ and ‘Women will be Women’…. I am just trying to unravel the idea behind the statement. Is it that the writer endorses the message hidden in these words.
So is when someone posts a joke on a particular community, I wonder how jokes have targeted particular communities for ages. Jokes as my friend says are notes that will makes us laugh but when it is posted, shared and shared a million times it becomes an idea people start believing in. Opinions are bound to be framed and generations base their ideas on those opinions.
A wrong information on facebook the other day generated such a response that a young techie was brutally murdered in Pune for no fault of his. He was in no way connected to the post or the social media circuit but paid the price for living in these interesting fast paced well connected times.
If we believe it is a joke to question the “understanding of a particular community in India”, it has remained so for ages and influenced the thought process of the nation. And at times when the social media is all the more influential these posts have far reaching influence and consequences.
Read More:
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/india-whatsapp-saves-man-trapped-10-hours-after-rock-climbing-accident-1453962
A friend sends this joke on whasapp and received 10 likes in 10 secs.
Love ur husband
when he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh
to listen your nonstop talks.....
Love him
if he looks at all the beautiful females.
he is just checking that you are still the best.
Love him
if criticise your cooking ... he is still improving
his taste.....
Love him
if snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you
Love him
if he forgets to
give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future.
Love him ... Because you don't have a choice and killing is a legal offence
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